unexpected blessings

Since writing my last post about things I miss since having kids something strange has happened. I keep finding opportunities to get to do some of the items on my list! God has been spoiling me. I have been wanting to write a follow-up or delete the last post anyways. Even though I said I wasn't complaining I felt like I must have been complaining or else what was I doing? And I discovered it. I was trying to remember and maintain my identity, my sense of self. When parenting small children, you have to remember who you are because you don't have as many outlets or chances for natural expression as you once did. Fortunately I find my identity in Christ so that even when I can't do what I love to do, I am still me. But God made us in His image and we are creative beings with unique personalities, desires and passions. By writing down the things that I like to do that energize me I feel like I'm preserving a bit of my identity here in my blog. I also wanted to say that it's not like I never get to do the things on the list, just not any old time that I want to, like when I was single. And now that I don't have the chance to do many of those things on a regular basis, of course I am still me, deep down. I just have to fight harder to remember. Still, I don't want to come across as ungrateful for one minute. I am so grateful for the blessings in my life and I am filled with JOY every day. Today was another day that God treated me to a night out with friends. My hubby took the two kids willingly and I got to eat a yummy meal and feel pretty. I even got to ride my scooter! God is good to me all the time. Then I got to come home and snuggle my little ones and read them a Bible story from the Jesus Storybook Bible. We read about the lost son. Thinking about this tonight: God says to his children, "you are always with me, and everything I have is yours." Luke 15:31 I believe this is the secret to being content in any situation, whether you are a tired mom of littles, a lonely single person, a person longing for a child, a person who has grown old and lost many loved ones, a person facing a dark valley in life--be encouraged. Don't believe the lies the enemy will tell you but believe this truth. God is always with you and everything he has is yours. I don't know about you but I'm thinking--that's a LOT! That's ENOUGH!

things that i miss

I am so glad that I have my two sweet little boys. I can't imagine my life without them and I wouldn't trade being with them for anything in the world. I remind myself of that when the floor is covered in cheerios, the laundry basket is overflowing and I haven't seen the bottom of the sink all week. Before becoming a parent I feared what I would be giving up, especially freedom. Then when I met my son(s) and discovered the whole new, indescribable, life-changing kind of love that is parenthood, everything changed. Sacrifice didn't feel like sacrifice. I would do anything for those two little sweethearts, even if they never said thank you or even "mama." And yet...there are things I miss. This is just off the top of my head. It's not meant to be a complaint, just a recording of part of this season of my life. So here it is: I miss sitting in a coffee shop, reading and enjoying a good book or conversation. I miss games nights/get-togethers with friends. I miss "craft time". I miss movie/date night. I miss Taiwan style hair washes. I miss being able to sit for a whole meal. I miss earning money to live on. I miss being free to do lots of ministry. I miss running. I miss having two hands to type. I miss having a moment to think. I miss having extended prayer/Bible/journaling times. I miss having the option of sleeping in if I'm sick or tired. I miss hiking monkey mountain. I miss going in Taiwanese stationary stores. I miss being able to cook something if I wanted to without putting small peoples' lives in danger. I miss spending more than 5 minutes getting ready. I miss handwriting letters to family or friends. I miss having free hands to serve others. I miss getting around town on my scooter. I miss night markets. I miss studying Chinese. I miss sitting through a church service. I miss holding my husband's hand. I miss getting a good night's sleep. I miss feeling successful in my life. I miss being able to be spontaneous. I miss carrying just a small purse. I miss reading. Ok, I'm sure there's more, but that's enough for now. Once again, I don't say this to complain, but I'm sure all the parents out there can relate and I'm sure all those who are not parents can learn more about what it's like to be one. And now that I've gotten that all out I do feel better! I know it's just a season. Though it may be a very long season indeed. Until then, see you sporadically! (shameless Clueless reference)

things that are hard

Living in the hospital is hard. Having a Taiwanese mother-in-law is hard. Answering people when they ask why my son walks so strangely is hard. Getting a kid to bed when you can't leave him unattended and he doesn't want to sleep is hard. Answering people when they ask, "So is Caleb better now?" is hard. Not being able to take your son to crowded places when you live in a crowded city is hard. Having a kid with low platelets who often falls and hits his head is hard. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance" James 1:2-3 I have a new and profound admiration for parents of children with chronic illnesses or disabilities that cause the parents to be isolated from society. I don't know what the road ahead holds with Caleb, but I know he is in God's hands. God is the only one who understands what's going on with Caleb and the only one who knows what He needs. Thank you for those who prayed for Caleb's bone marrow biopsy--it went very smoothly. Caleb was laughing like a little drunkard as he fell into unconsciousness, and less than ten minutes later they were done. They found that his body is not producing enough platelets, but it's a mystery because usually in that case the body would not be producing red and white blood cells either, while Caleb's are normal. If you have any leads or know anyone with a similar situation please leave me a comment! -paula