A good year for life, a bad year for blogging...but hoping to change that in 2011. What a joy 2010 has been with the arrival of my firstborn son. I truly regret not journaling--blogging or otherwise--so I have made it a New Year's resolution to resume journaling--mostly on paper but occasionally here as well. I haven't written since I recorded my birth story so let me update you on the last {wonderful} five months of my life.
I was terrified of what would happen to my life after the baby was born. People had warned me that life would never be the same and I felt an impending doom looming over 'the rest of my life.' I knew that everything I knew was going to change, but what people didn't prepare me for, what I couldn't have known, was how amazingly JOYOUS and my life was about to become. I was so worried about losing my life that I forgot that biblical principle that when you lose your life, you actually find it. I was scared that I would go crazy changing diapers and caring for someone who couldn't say thank you, but I didn't understand that once I saw the face of my beloved son, changing a diaper wouldn't feel like a chore anymore. I would do anything for my little guy. I can honestly say that I'm learning so much about love through this child, and that I never knew love like this before. Not only is it my joy and privilege to take care of him, but I was wrong to think he couldn't say thank you. Sometimes when I'm feeding him, he looks up and gives me a goofy smile, and milk drips all down his cute little cheek. That is all the thank you I'll ever need. And if I didn't have that 'thank you,' it would still be my JOY to raise Caleb Joshua. It's all so worth it. I never knew.
As far as babies go, I believe we've been incredibly blessed as well. Caleb has a sweet little personality. His smiles, coos, and giggles light up my life like never before. I feel like I was made to be his mom (even though I'm not always convinced I'm doing my job very well.) It's so hard to describe, but from the moment he was born it's like God injected me with His LOVE IV and I have this pure love running through my very veins. We may not get as lucky with our next baby(ies) as far as the sweet personality, but I know that God will fill me with all the love I need for my future children, and I can't wait to see what that looks like!
A friend asked me if Caleb was taking the place of God in my life. I thought about it, but I answered no. Then I thought about it some more. I realized that loving and serving Caleb (and Josh) is the main job that God has given me right now, and that in doing these jobs to the best of my ability (weak though I am), I AM loving and serving God. I see the face of Jesus as I raise Caleb, and I understand God's love for me in a new and entirely different way than I had before. The love I have for Caleb blows me away. I told Josh at times it's so strong I feel like my heart is going to explode. He rolled his eyes at me because he thinks I'm SO WEIRD, which I am, but still, it's true. I've had to think about whether I am keeping Josh as #2 (just behind Jesus, of course). It's easy to love Caleb. As I said, it's in my veins. Loving a spouse is a differently wonderful kind of love and yet as those of us are married know, it becomes a daily choice to make. And some days are easier/harder than others. So I'm praying to keep my priorities straight, but the more I love and serve Caleb, the more Josh and I celebrate our relationship as well, and I love being in Josh's family. It's amazing how we were two people and now we are three. That may sound cliche, but it still boggles my mind.
Speaking of amazing, I'm constantly amazed that my body is now producing milk, and that the milk I make covers all of Caleb's nutritional needs. And that by drinking only that milk, he has now doubled his body weight. God is so good! Nursing was so difficult at first because we got off to a bad start, but I'm so grateful to my mom and the lactation expert who helped me stick with it--and to God, who has always provided just enough milk for each day. It started out painfullly, but now nursing as well is a true joy and I'm so glad that I was able to continue.
In our second year of marriage, I asked Josh what he thought love was. He said: 'sacrifice and enjoy.' I then continued to berate him and tell him what an idiot he was and that it made no sense at all. Now I understand. Now I know. It's another one of those biblical principles. When I truly sacrifice, I truly enjoy and the sacrifice doesn't feel like sacrifice. Sacrifice and enjoy. My new life.
Looking forward to more sacrificing and enjoying in 2011.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
My Birth Story
Here is my birth story for anyone interested:
My mom arrived in Taiwan on July 8th to make sure she would be here in plenty of time for the birth of her sixth grandchild. Well, she could have saved herself the trouble and come about three weeks later, but I was glad to have her company anyways. My due date of July 20th had come and gone by the time I went in on July 27th for yet another doctor's appointment and ultrasound. Our baby always hid during the ultrasounds, with his hands over his face, so there wasn't much to see either. My mom and I had been walking all around town, trying to make the baby come out. Josh was at the ready and always told me to call him if I had any "construction" (contractions). My doctor said that we would need to induce labor sometime in the next few days and told me to just come check myself in whenever I was ready. I wanted to let Kai-Jia come on his own, but I also wanted to get the show on the road and let grandma meet him while she was here! It seemed like a daunting responsibility to decide what day to have my baby. The next day (Wednesday the 28th) I was somewhat depressed. Still no baby. I decided to check myself in on the 29th to be induced, but I had hoped and prayed that the baby would come naturally. We tried watching Youtube videos about which pressure points to massage in order to get something started, but nothing was happening, and Caleb hadn't even 'dropped' yet.
My mom and I had nothing left on our to-do list except to ride the "duck bus," an amphibious bus that rides into Lotus Lake. My dad had suggested eating cheeseburgers to make the baby come and I was ready to try anything, so I had a cheeseburger for lunch. About that time I started feeling some cramping in my stomach, but I didn't want to get my hopes up that it could be labor, so I didn't say anything. My mom and I proceeded with our plans to ride the duck bus, but the pains were becoming more noticeable, so I asked her if it could be labor. She started timing them and we waited around for our turn on the duck bus. By the time we got on the bus, around 5pm, they were coming almost 5 minutes apart, but they still weren't that painful. We thought maybe I could give birth on the bus! But no action yet. I was partially worried that my water would break, but little did I know that wouldn't happen until much later. I got home and told Josh that the time had come--he was a little surprised! I took a shower, but the contractions were coming 2-3 minutes apart by then, so we decided I didn't have time to wash my hair. Still, it wasn't too painful yet. By the time we got in the car I couldn't talk during contractions, but I still felt okay. I was excited! We got to the hospital and I went to the labor room around 7pm, feeling pretty confident that the baby was coming fairly quickly, after all, my mom's first baby came after just 6 hours of labor. The nurses wanted to measure my contractions, but to do so I had to lay on a bed and let them monitor for 20 minutes. Well, laying on my back made the contractions WAY worse, so I turned onto my side. After 20 minutes the nurses came back and said that I would have to lay flat on my back and that they were starting over for another 20 minutes--NOT what I wanted to hear. I was already in a lot of pain and dreading each contraction. They started monitoring again, and by the time they were done I was in SERIOUS pain, so when they measured me and said that I was only one centimeter dilated, it was a HUGE disappointment. At that rate, I thought I'd never make it. They suggested that I go home--I couldn't believe it! They asked if I wanted to see the doctor and I said okay. My doctor said I should wait until midnight to check in. At the time I didn't understand that that was because of the way they charge for a whole 24 hours if you check in in the evening, but oh well. We sat in the waiting room trying to decide what to do and I was in so much pain with each contraction. The other pregnant ladies waiting for their appointments must have been watching me in horror as my mom and Josh tried to coach me to breathe. It was embarrassing, but I didn't know what else to do. Finally, I though let's just go to the 2nd floor (labor area) waiting area. Much better--many less people, but I was still dying. Finally, around 9pm I said I just wanted to check myself in, so I did.
The nurses prepped me for labor, but each time a contraction came, I could barely function. They hooked me up to a heart monitoring device to check on the baby. Since the cord was wrapped around his neck, it was hard for him to get enough oxygen when I was having a contraction. The nurses said I would have to breathe more deeply, and put me on oxygen, but I just wasn't able to breathe enough for both of us with how painful the contractions were, so around 10pm I asked for an epidural. No need to be a hero, I thought. The difference after getting the epidural was night and day. I could actually relax and breathe enough for Caleb to get air during contractions. In fact, I only knew when I was having a contraction by watching Caleb's heart monitor. From then on, it was mostly a waiting game. The nurses would check on my progress every once in a while, but Caleb still hadn't "dropped," which seemed to be slowing everything down. 
Around 2am I was about 8cm dilated but he still hadn't dropped. I asked if I could stand up to try to help and they said that I could if I thought I could feel my legs. I said I could so I stood up with Josh's help and whoosh--my water suddenly broke. The nurses said that was great! They had me lay back down and checked out the situation and said it would be soon now--we were going to have a baby soon! Josh predicted around four, but I predicted around 6am. (I was right haha). Anyways, I was about 9 1/2 cm dilated, almost baby time, around 4am I think, when they discovered that Caleb had pooped! Guess being nine days late he couldn't hold it anymore. Baby's first poop is called meconium and it can be very dangerous if it comes out in the womb because they can swallow it, etc. So they decided they needed to get the baby out as soon as possible! They had me start trying to push and said I was doing a good job but his head wasn't in the right position yet, which was making progress slow. My epidural wore off and I was starting to feel a lot of pain, but thought the end must be near. Then all of the sudden everyone disappeared. My mom told me that another woman and her mom had come running into the hospital and they rushed her right into the delivery room. She gave birth in thirty minutes! Then it was my turn. They wheeled me into the delivery room around 4:45am I guess. My groggy doctor came in a little while later. By then I was in serious pain, but there was nothing to be done. They kept saying he was almost coming but I didn't let myself believe anybody. Like in a race when everyone says "You're almost there," even when you've just begun. However, the doctor decided an episiotomy was necessary to speed things along. If you don't know what that is, you don't want to know! Anyways, Caleb's head came out and the doctor cut the cord, but I had no idea what was going on. Then he pulled out the rest of the baby and held him up and said "Here's your baby." The lifeless, slimy, alien-like being that he held up was purple and brown and looking awful. "He's not breathing!" I cried out, wishing the doctor wouldn't waste precious seconds showing him to us when he should be saving his life instead. The doctor was very casual and said they would take care of it. It seemed like FOREVER that the doctor and about four nurses were working on Kai-Jia, and we kept listening for a cry but never heard one. Josh and I were praying and I just imagined his little life passing out of this world and going home empty-handed. But we gave him the name Caleb Joshua to represent Bible characters that had big faith, so I knew God was calling on me to have faith as well. It was just not the kind of test I was looking for. Anyways, FINALLY they brought him to me and he was all bundled up but they laid him on me for a minute and we snapped a picture. My heart was so relieved and overjoyed. This precious gift was ours and was ALIVE! Praise God! They explained that he was unstable and they had to take him away and I understood, though I didn't know how long it would be before they let me see him again. That was a long first day and I missed him like crazy, but the very next day they handed him over to us--our baby! Our lives will never be the same. Caleb Joshua Hong was born at 5:38 am on July 29th, 2010. He weighed 2.9 kgs (about 6 pounds, 6 ounces) and was 50cm long (about 19 inches). I LOVE being Caleb's mom!
(Not the end, just the beginning...)
My mom arrived in Taiwan on July 8th to make sure she would be here in plenty of time for the birth of her sixth grandchild. Well, she could have saved herself the trouble and come about three weeks later, but I was glad to have her company anyways. My due date of July 20th had come and gone by the time I went in on July 27th for yet another doctor's appointment and ultrasound. Our baby always hid during the ultrasounds, with his hands over his face, so there wasn't much to see either. My mom and I had been walking all around town, trying to make the baby come out. Josh was at the ready and always told me to call him if I had any "construction" (contractions). My doctor said that we would need to induce labor sometime in the next few days and told me to just come check myself in whenever I was ready. I wanted to let Kai-Jia come on his own, but I also wanted to get the show on the road and let grandma meet him while she was here! It seemed like a daunting responsibility to decide what day to have my baby. The next day (Wednesday the 28th) I was somewhat depressed. Still no baby. I decided to check myself in on the 29th to be induced, but I had hoped and prayed that the baby would come naturally. We tried watching Youtube videos about which pressure points to massage in order to get something started, but nothing was happening, and Caleb hadn't even 'dropped' yet.
My mom and I had nothing left on our to-do list except to ride the "duck bus," an amphibious bus that rides into Lotus Lake. My dad had suggested eating cheeseburgers to make the baby come and I was ready to try anything, so I had a cheeseburger for lunch. About that time I started feeling some cramping in my stomach, but I didn't want to get my hopes up that it could be labor, so I didn't say anything. My mom and I proceeded with our plans to ride the duck bus, but the pains were becoming more noticeable, so I asked her if it could be labor. She started timing them and we waited around for our turn on the duck bus. By the time we got on the bus, around 5pm, they were coming almost 5 minutes apart, but they still weren't that painful. We thought maybe I could give birth on the bus! But no action yet. I was partially worried that my water would break, but little did I know that wouldn't happen until much later. I got home and told Josh that the time had come--he was a little surprised! I took a shower, but the contractions were coming 2-3 minutes apart by then, so we decided I didn't have time to wash my hair. Still, it wasn't too painful yet. By the time we got in the car I couldn't talk during contractions, but I still felt okay. I was excited! We got to the hospital and I went to the labor room around 7pm, feeling pretty confident that the baby was coming fairly quickly, after all, my mom's first baby came after just 6 hours of labor. The nurses wanted to measure my contractions, but to do so I had to lay on a bed and let them monitor for 20 minutes. Well, laying on my back made the contractions WAY worse, so I turned onto my side. After 20 minutes the nurses came back and said that I would have to lay flat on my back and that they were starting over for another 20 minutes--NOT what I wanted to hear. I was already in a lot of pain and dreading each contraction. They started monitoring again, and by the time they were done I was in SERIOUS pain, so when they measured me and said that I was only one centimeter dilated, it was a HUGE disappointment. At that rate, I thought I'd never make it. They suggested that I go home--I couldn't believe it! They asked if I wanted to see the doctor and I said okay. My doctor said I should wait until midnight to check in. At the time I didn't understand that that was because of the way they charge for a whole 24 hours if you check in in the evening, but oh well. We sat in the waiting room trying to decide what to do and I was in so much pain with each contraction. The other pregnant ladies waiting for their appointments must have been watching me in horror as my mom and Josh tried to coach me to breathe. It was embarrassing, but I didn't know what else to do. Finally, I though let's just go to the 2nd floor (labor area) waiting area. Much better--many less people, but I was still dying. Finally, around 9pm I said I just wanted to check myself in, so I did.
The nurses prepped me for labor, but each time a contraction came, I could barely function. They hooked me up to a heart monitoring device to check on the baby. Since the cord was wrapped around his neck, it was hard for him to get enough oxygen when I was having a contraction. The nurses said I would have to breathe more deeply, and put me on oxygen, but I just wasn't able to breathe enough for both of us with how painful the contractions were, so around 10pm I asked for an epidural. No need to be a hero, I thought. The difference after getting the epidural was night and day. I could actually relax and breathe enough for Caleb to get air during contractions. In fact, I only knew when I was having a contraction by watching Caleb's heart monitor. From then on, it was mostly a waiting game. The nurses would check on my progress every once in a while, but Caleb still hadn't "dropped," which seemed to be slowing everything down. 
Around 2am I was about 8cm dilated but he still hadn't dropped. I asked if I could stand up to try to help and they said that I could if I thought I could feel my legs. I said I could so I stood up with Josh's help and whoosh--my water suddenly broke. The nurses said that was great! They had me lay back down and checked out the situation and said it would be soon now--we were going to have a baby soon! Josh predicted around four, but I predicted around 6am. (I was right haha). Anyways, I was about 9 1/2 cm dilated, almost baby time, around 4am I think, when they discovered that Caleb had pooped! Guess being nine days late he couldn't hold it anymore. Baby's first poop is called meconium and it can be very dangerous if it comes out in the womb because they can swallow it, etc. So they decided they needed to get the baby out as soon as possible! They had me start trying to push and said I was doing a good job but his head wasn't in the right position yet, which was making progress slow. My epidural wore off and I was starting to feel a lot of pain, but thought the end must be near. Then all of the sudden everyone disappeared. My mom told me that another woman and her mom had come running into the hospital and they rushed her right into the delivery room. She gave birth in thirty minutes! Then it was my turn. They wheeled me into the delivery room around 4:45am I guess. My groggy doctor came in a little while later. By then I was in serious pain, but there was nothing to be done. They kept saying he was almost coming but I didn't let myself believe anybody. Like in a race when everyone says "You're almost there," even when you've just begun. However, the doctor decided an episiotomy was necessary to speed things along. If you don't know what that is, you don't want to know! Anyways, Caleb's head came out and the doctor cut the cord, but I had no idea what was going on. Then he pulled out the rest of the baby and held him up and said "Here's your baby." The lifeless, slimy, alien-like being that he held up was purple and brown and looking awful. "He's not breathing!" I cried out, wishing the doctor wouldn't waste precious seconds showing him to us when he should be saving his life instead. The doctor was very casual and said they would take care of it. It seemed like FOREVER that the doctor and about four nurses were working on Kai-Jia, and we kept listening for a cry but never heard one. Josh and I were praying and I just imagined his little life passing out of this world and going home empty-handed. But we gave him the name Caleb Joshua to represent Bible characters that had big faith, so I knew God was calling on me to have faith as well. It was just not the kind of test I was looking for. Anyways, FINALLY they brought him to me and he was all bundled up but they laid him on me for a minute and we snapped a picture. My heart was so relieved and overjoyed. This precious gift was ours and was ALIVE! Praise God! They explained that he was unstable and they had to take him away and I understood, though I didn't know how long it would be before they let me see him again. That was a long first day and I missed him like crazy, but the very next day they handed him over to us--our baby! Our lives will never be the same. Caleb Joshua Hong was born at 5:38 am on July 29th, 2010. He weighed 2.9 kgs (about 6 pounds, 6 ounces) and was 50cm long (about 19 inches). I LOVE being Caleb's mom! (Not the end, just the beginning...)
Monday, August 9, 2010
Caleb is here!
We are so happy to announce the birth of our firstborn: Caleb Joshua Hong/洪凱嘉. He was born at 5:38 on Thursday morning, July 29th, 2010. He weighed 2.9 kilos, which is about 6 pounds and 6 ounces, and he measured 50cm long, which is about 19 inches. He is a tiny little guy and we are just so in love with him, despite the sleep deprivation we are currently experiencing. Adding to the fun, my parents are here from California to visit and to help us adjust to our new life as a family. We are so grateful to God for our little bundle of joy. Here are a few photos and I intend to write my birth story soon and add it here.
halt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5503350886438775314" />
Mama and Baby just after birt
Daddy loves Caleb
Little Sweetie
A special Father's Day!
halt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5503350886438775314" />Mama and Baby just after birt
Daddy loves Caleb
Little Sweetie
A special Father's Day!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
40 weeks nownow
The hospital where I will give birth
Well, my due date has come and gone and no action yet! I have been meaning to blog for months but I haven't, and sadly I haven't really been journaling either, but overall it's been a great pregnancy! No complaints. My mom is here in Taiwan now and she has been a great help with getting ready for the baby's arrival. We have the crib about ready now and most of the baby's clothes washed and somewhat organized, and we have even been organizing other parts of the house as we wait for Caleb. We're trying to find other ways to pass the time as well, like taking big long walks, eating mango ice, and riding buses to see where they go! Good times. I am starting to feel like the baby will never arrive, but I'm pretty sure my doctor will not let me go longer than the end of the month, so sooner or later he should be here. In our last ultrasound the doctor discovered that the baby's cord is wrapped around his neck one time--he said no big deal; that happens to about 30% of babies, but still it is somewhat concerning to me. If you are reading this before I give birth, please say a prayer for us! It doesn't seem real or possible, but the next time I blog I suppose I will be a mother! Thank you to all of our friends and family for the wonderful support you have given us during this time.
-Paula
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Preggers and Loving It!
Wow, a lot has happened since I wrote my last blog. We have settled in to living in Taiwan quite nicely. God answered our prayers for my visa and we got it while on a visa run to Thailand. We didn't have one document we needed, but God was on our side and they had mercy on me and granted me a resident visa. I then was able to get my spouse ARC in Taiwan and I will even qualify for insurance in early July, hopefully before Baby Hong arrives. (Due July 20th) I have been really bad about blogging ever since I joined Facebook, but I did want to post a quick update. I am now 7 months pregnant and still feeling great. Josh has a job working at a French restaurant owned by a church couple, and is studying to go to seminary in the fall. He wants to become a youth pastor at our new church, Bilingual Community Church. Recently I've just been subbing at different BuXiBans (cram schools). Some nicer than others. I'm also helping teach Sunday School at church some weeks. Still waiting for my nesting instincts to kick in, though I suspect I may not have any of those. I will have to force myself to get that baby's room ready. We found out that we are having a boy, and so far from the ultrasounds, everything looks good. It's so amazing to see his heart beating and look at his developing brain, spine, and other internal organs! God is amazing. We are considering the English name: Caleb Joshua Hong, and for the Chinese name I like Hong Kai-____. Need one more syllable to complete the name, but it's tricky to find something that doesn't sound like something else or sound girly or sound bad in Taiwanese...sigh. Anyways, here's a photo series of my growing belly. It really has popped out in the past few weeks. Someone even gave up their seat for me on the MRT for the first time! Baby currently weighs about 2 1/2 pounds or 1.2 kilograms. I'm hoping he'll be just the right size when it comes time for delivery :)
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Back in Taiwan!
It feels good to be back in Taiwan--and back blogging, for that matter! It's been a while. Well, Josh and I arrived here in Kaohsiung late night Feb. 5th and since then we've been trying to get back into the swing of things. We took our first ride on the MRT, and checked out the new Hanshen Department store by our house. We hopped back on my old scooter and took some rides around town. We ate some traditional Taiwanese food like danbing (not sure how to translate) and goat noodles--yum--and we visited my favorite tea shop. We went to our previous church as well as a new church, and we're having fun meeting old friends and new. The weather is nice and warm during the day and cool during the night--perfect!
For those of you who may not know, we brought some extra special cargo along with us to Taiwan. That's right, I've got a bun in the oven! You can't see it yet but I'm about 4 months pregnant and we're expecting Baby Hong mid July. So excited! We plan to have the baby in Taiwan and stay here long-term. Meanwhile, we are both looking for jobs, and I am trying to get my visa situation ironed out.
Please join us in praying for the following things:
For Josh: to get a job with reasonable hours and decent pay in which he can utilize his talents and glorify God
For me: my visa situation is complicated. I will need to either leave the country and come back with a different visa, get a job, or become a full time student in order to stay. I'm not sure if any of these options will allow me to get health insurance before the baby is born, which is kind of stressing me out, thought it would still be much cheaper than having a baby in the U.S.
For Baby: to grow and develop according to Gods plan and that I would be as healthy as possible and be protected from scooter accidents, H1Ni, etc.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)